Defence

Scientists have discovered the greatest defence against all known viruses is being a celebrity. One’s cellular structure as a whole vibrates at a higher frequency which should repel all viral attacks. If you are a celebrity and do come down even quite seriously with a virus, then this is indicative of cognitive dissonance between the fact of being a celebrity and not genuinely believing in your depths that you really are one. This self-doubt can be purged through the use of some kind of organic enema.