Gulag

Extremely hot on the heels of their debut song, Indoctrinate Me Baby (All Night Long), exciting new industry outfit The College Students have another song already primed for release in the coming weeks, titled Gulag, Gulag, Gulag. A sample of the lyrics below:

Gulag, gulag, gulag

Gulag’s gonna get you

If you want my body

Get with my ideology

Or else gulag, gulag, gulag

Gulag’s gonna get you

So if you want my body

Better get with my ideology

Ooohhh

Ooohhh

Ooohhh

All right

It’s obviously rare to encounter lyrics of such sociological depth within the pop environment, so let’s hope the kids are rewarded bounteously for these daring artistic endeavours.

College

It’s almost embarrassing having to be the conduit for some reason or other for so much music news, but anyway here’s some more music news, this time emerging from the bowels of the academic world, with the spawning of a new group calling themselves The College Students. They apparently are ticking all the right boxes with all the right people, and are even said, whisper it, to possibly be set for stardom, especially if they continue to put in the hours on their dance routines, which are as yet considered “explicit but a bit wooden”.

 Their first song is called Indoctrinate Me Baby (All Night Long). Its lyrics advance the notion that complete unquestioning servility beneath the wheels and machinery of an emerging totalitarian world state is the path to freedom and erotic bliss.

I don’t have a thought in my head

Except for what you’ve put in there

So indoctrinate me baby

All night long

It’s what you do best

It gives my head rest

I feel really blessed

Cos otherwise I wouldn’t have a fucking clue what’s going on.

 Just to add, it is yet to be confirmed whether that slightly surprising final line is legitimate or not. 

The Azovs

An interesting and exciting release by new band The Azovs, titled Hardcore Soft Core. Lyrics from the chorus below:

I used to be a hardcore Nazi

But I’ve seen the error of my ways 

And now I’m gonna be a gay communist

For the rest of my days.

Pope Francis is said to be a big fan.

Amanda

Fake News Shitstorm are evidently on fire creatively, and from out of the flames of all this creativity has emerged another song, titled Don’t Call it Propaganda, Amanda. Some lyrics below:

Amanda, Amanda

It’s not propaganda

No, no, no 

I would never lie to anyone

Especially not to you 

Because I love your smile

And the way you curl your hair

So don’t say it’s propaganda 

Amanda

Two New Songs

Fake News Shitstorm debuted two new songs, Without Dignity We Are Nothing and He is the Science, We Are the Truth, last night at the first Concert for Climate Change, Transgenderism and Human Trafficking, which was held at a perfect virtual replica of Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Mansion at an undisclosed location somewhere in the Hollywood Hills. Whoopi Goldberg compèred using the voice of Benedict Cumberbatch and the body of a slightly scaled up Tom Cruise dating from the earlier films of the Mission Impossible franchise. 

As a sign of global solidarity, young refugee migrants from hotspots around the world, decked out as playgirl and playboy bunnies, served the invite only, high profile audience food and drinks through the night.

Biolab Bombshell

Deep State Cabal are releasing a new single called Biolab Bombshell. It features a spoken but funky rap by Bill Gates about some beautiful woman who seems to be about to spread smallpox or the plague or some kind of illness, and who - if I’m getting this right - we must protect with our lives in case she doesn’t get to fulfill her destiny, in ushering in some new era of love and wisdom. It’s all a bit weird and vague. Meanwhile in the background of the video, figures like Boris Johnson and Emmanuel Macron are giving each other piggy backs, falling to the ground and laughing a lot. The main lyrics to the song are:

She’s my biolab bombshell

She’ll take your breath away.

Ballad

Fake News Shitstorm have recorded a beautiful new power ballad titled If You Disbelieve Me You’re a Nazi - which is sure to get saturation airplay from all legitimate entertainment outlets. Rolling Stone magazine have described the song as “already iconic”, and say they are looking forward to hearing it. Some lyrics from this game-changing song below:

I want to think the best of you

But if you’ve been tuning in to alternative media sources

You must realise that you’re a Nazi

Don’t be a Nazi

No, don’t be a Nazi

Only Nazis love Nazis

[Chorus]

Mainstream truth is all the truth you’ll ever need 

Mainstream truth is all the truth we should ever breathe

That’s what stops us from turning into Nazis

Only far-right sympathisers

Question us or question Pfizer

Neil Young, he knows this truth

He is the voice of the youth

He’s only eighty years old

He repeats what he’s told

Tom Cruise is another one

He was the star of Top Gun

Powerful and poetic stuff there.

Musical Offshoot

Lead singer of Deep State Cabal, Klaus SSchwab, has formed a new group called Klaus SSchwab and the Psychopaths. Fans of Deep State Cabal needn’t worry as this is only intended as a sideline for SSchwab. This new group’s debut release Genocide is Such an Ugly Word should be in all good record shops from next Monday. SSchwab describes the song as in the style of heavy metal folk opera. Tony Blair is on rhythm guitar, while Bette Midler and Madonna provide backing vocals. Hunter Biden has  kindly looked after the artwork for the single “for a reasonable fee.” Some lyrics from the song below:

Genocide is such an ugly word

I prefer to call it the culling of the herd

Please don’t look at me like I’m deranged

You must believe me that I’ve changed

I no longer want to turn you into slaves.

Love

Love and peace for all

Whether you’re big

Or whether you’re small 

It may come as a surprise 

But when you look deep into my eyes

I’m sure you’ll see my psychotic tendencies have died.

Love

Love and peace for all . . . 

Blair News

The much loved and still useful former Labour Party leader Tony Blair has formed a new music group, Tony Blair and the War Criminals. They just had their debut gig live on the BBC where they performed several original Blair compositions to an invite-only audience - who also had to have digital proof of having completed an academic education at a respectable institution. The first song was the funky My Skin May Be White but My Soul Sure Is Black, followed by Working My Ass Off for the Under Classes (My Kind of People). Then after a champagne break came the wistful Iraq Feels a Long Time Ago, and finally the upbeat and defiant Me and George High on Cocaine Watching the Bombs Drop. Following desperate pleas from the excited but well-dressed audience, an encore consisted of Proud to Serve the Cabal.

Tony Blair and the War Criminals ended the gig by wishing all responsible citizens everywhere a most happy and safe holiday season, and calling the unvaccinated idiots and enemies of the people. And then, their spirits full, everyone spilled out and disappeared into the winter night.

Collaboration

Tony Blair, a bit late to the party, has in a vaguely surprising collaboration, teamed up with lovable, messy haired Boris Johnson, and together are releasing a song for the Christmas music market: I Never Knew Living in Fear Could Be Such Fun (One day you’re gonna know it too). The song-writing credits ascribe this to Blair-Johnson, while the B-side is accredited to Johnson and Johnson-Pfizer Blair, whatever that precisely indicates. That song is titled Beat Me with Your Love Hammer (Don’t Stop), and is said to be inspired by th golden years of Motown, but with an English pastoral twist. Lyrics, leaked to us from an unnamed source, below:

You say you see through my bullshit

But I don’t care

I’ve got messy hair

Scandal

 An unlikely and unpleasant incident occurred at a recent MTV music awards ceremony involving members of the groups Fake News Shitstorm and Deep State Cabal, both of whom were present at the time. Everything in the ceremony was going smoothly; there was music, jokes, erotic dancing by the girls of Depopulation Agenda during what appeared to be some kind of strange occult ritual, there were women and a few men wearing dresses made of meat - elegance and good taste abounded. But, in the very midst of all this serenity, things were about to kick off. Brace yourselves.

After an ad break it is alleged the drummer of Fake News Shitstorm did not have his mask properly fixed to his face during a time period when it should have been, and this was in full view of the public for several minutes as he came in and out of shot - the MTV producers and camera people somehow not awake to the issue. During the next ad break, Klaus SSchwab, lead singer of Deep State Cabal, angrily confronted Fake News Shitstorm for the inappropriate behaviour of their band mate, whilst also, in German, berated the MTV team in an oratorical style vaguely reminiscent of that of a well-known former German  historical figure from the 1930s and 40s. 

After an initial awkward and shocked silence, Fake News Shitstorm accused SSchwab of being a megalomaniacal bully, always pushing people around, and it wasn’t the job of Fake News Shitstorm just to bow down and serve the interests of Deep State Cabal - to which SSchwab responded, or rather roared, this was exactly their role. (The two groups are part of the same record label, Deception, and perhaps SSchwab was referring to internal politics and priorities of said label.) 

All this chaos and scandal may well have simply been in the heat of the moment - these award ceremonies can be very tense and demanding affairs - but the dispute escalated to the point that MTV were forced to continue the ad break for an uncomfortably long time. When coverage returned, the drummer was double masked, kept in place with what looked like duct tape, and was socially distanced to an apparent and obvious degree. The camera lingered on him for a few seconds, perhaps to help make some subliminal point to the viewership.

The Fact Checkers, who were also present, have offered to look into the available footage to try to assess and offer impartial judgement regarding the full truth of things. 

When pressed for a comment, the lead singer of The Populace, who were sat in a dark corner in the back somewhere, said he and the band had no clue what was going on but they were glad anyway to have just got an invite.

More from The Populace

The Populace, shortly after their last single, Treat Me Like a Moron, have recorded a new song which they are hoping to release as soon as feasibly possible: Feels Like Forever Since I’ve Been Jabbed. The b-side is Big Farm A Big Love (Pig Pharma Pig Love) - which is apparently quite psychedelic. Some of the lyrics of this are:

If you’ve got a big farm

You got a big love

If you’ve got a pig farm

You got a lot of pig love

 [chorus]

Big farm a 

Big farm a

Big farm a

Big love.

Pig farm a

Pig farm a

Pig farm a

Pig love.

Persistence

Deep State Cabal’s latest single, aimed at the Christmas charts, I’m Gonna Put You in a Camp (Yes I will) has unexpectedly bombed at the musical box office, so to speak, with critics saying the group didn’t quite have their finger on the collective pulse to the degree they may have imagined. Then again the song’s failure may be just one of those unexplainable anomalies that occasionally intersect with reality. Anyway regardless, never ones to rest on their laurels, or in this case lack of laurels, the band have swiftly recovered from the setback to rush-release another song, again aiming firmly at the top of the Yuletide charts: Wishing You a Very Fascist Christmas. “Fascism is the new anti-fascism,” explained lead singer, Klaus SSchwab. “And vice versa.”

The B-side, which again may risk alienating more extreme elements of the public, is Mask Up - No one Wants to Look at Your Ugly Face Anyway.

Vital

The Fact Checkers have released a special “Private no holds barred access upload video” (I’m not sure what that all means) for their as yet unreleased song: Don’t You Go Thinking We’re the Assholes. Accompanying this video release is a live performance of another two new songs: Remember If it Wasn’t for Us You Plebs Wouldn’t Know Fuck All, and also We Hold the Keys to Reality. This last song has an interesting mixture of minor and major chords, say the band.

It’s yet to be seen how the somewhat confrontational tone of a couple of these songs will go down with their fan base. Rolling Stone magazine has applauded the releases as “vital and fresh.”

New Music News

It’s all happening in the music scene, and the latest we have to relay is ex-Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey and ex-CNN anchorman Chris Cuomo have both joined new band The Fact Checkers. They are both said to be brimming over with musical ideas. For example: I Can’t Sleep Cos of the Climate Crisis, and also Everything I Say is True So Why Won’t You Believe Me? A few lyrics from this below:

It breaks my heart when you question my word

When all I have to say is that I love you.

And it tears me apart when you accuse me

Of being a bit loose with the truth.

Don’t you know that me and the truth

Are never apart?

I love you 

I love you 

I love you

I love you.

So take me at face value 

Or I won’t love you anymore.

Musical Fireworks - Countdown to Christmas

On the music front things are really hotting up with Depopulation Agenda, Fake News Shitstorm and The Fact Checkers all taking aim at the top spot in the charts for Christmas. Amidst this joyous onslaught, Deep State Cabal are also making a late play for that much desired Number 1 with their new song, I’m Gonna Put You in a Camp (Yes I Will). A sample of the lyrics below:

It’s for your own good

It’s for your own good

It’s for your own good

For everybody’s good.

Watch me now!

And just to mention that, having flown in a little bit under the radar, the Mr Gates managed girlband Depopulation Agenda’s release is Fill Me Up With Your Booster Shot Daddy.

Musical Bombshell

Stunning breaking news on the music front where, due to “slight musical differences”, there’s been a split within the ranks of the band Fake News Shitstorm. Whilst everyone insists they all remain best of friends, two of the group are breaking away to form their own band: The Fact Checkers. 

It’s yet to be seen how this will affect sales of Fake News Shitstorm’s latest release, We Are Fake News Shitstorm. The Fact Checkers meanwhile are already primed to release their debut song, Get Your Facts Straight (Checkin’ up on You).

Fake News Shitstorm are currently advertising for a bassist and a trombone player (preferably female).

Swift Response

Fake News Shitstorm have swiftly responded to the disappointment of being dethroned from the top of the music charts by Deep State Cabal’s Leave Our Pedos Alone by rush releasing their new song, the autobiographical We Are Fake News Shitstorm. 

Deep

On the music front, that group who get so much corporate and media love, Deep State Cabal, have replaced Fake News Shitstorm’s Comply (Just a Little Bit More) at the top of the charts with their zeitgeist capturing song, Leave Our Pedos Alone. The B-side is Open Borders (Trafficking Kids). These songs are, as always, a soulful blend of soft rock and hard rock, simultaneously both comforting and confrontational. A sample of the lyrics of one of the above songs, I’m not sure which, goes:

If you really love me,

Let me microchip you with a tracking device,

So I always know where you are,

Baby.

More Blair

Tony Blair is set to breathe fresh life into a slightly stagnant music scene with his new release, Don’t Go Tellin’ Me You Is Colourblind (You Ain’t). The B-Side is European Union for You, European Union for Me.