More Blair

Tony Blair is set to breathe fresh life into a slightly stagnant music scene with his new release, Don’t Go Tellin’ Me You Is Colourblind (You Ain’t). The B-Side is European Union for You, European Union for Me.

Blair

Tony Blair is releasing his first single as a solo artist titled No Bars Strong Enough to Hold Me (I Ain’t Gonna Be Locked Down). The B-side is a thoughtful number: Bureaucracy is the New Meritocracy - And What’s Wrong With That?

Supergroup

Interesting news on the music front: U2 frontman Bono is forming a supergroup with Tony Blair (guitar) and Woody Allen (clarinet) calling themselves WNI - White Niggaz Incoming. Their eagerly awaited first single Taking Down the System - All Shall Fall will be in shops soon (remember to bring your mask). An album is also in the works with the provisional title Bringin’ it to the Man. It almost certainly will contain the Blair penned song Superego Trippin’ with Yo Mama and Yo Daddy.

Gatesman 3

Marvel Comics say there has been incredibly positive public reaction to their new Gatesman character and upcoming series, so much so that an entire additional writing team has been assigned to the creation of new and existing storylines. One of the most intriguing offshoots of their efforts is where Gatesman teams up with old buddies Bill Clinton and Bono to go on a vaccinating holiday across much of central Africa. Efforts to get Tony Blair to join them and make up a foursome seemingly initiate some surprising tensions amongst the group!

Peace

Somewhat surprisingly, even if only superficially so, this year's Nobel Peace prize has been awarded to War. A spokesman for the Nobel committee said they were going to award it a second time to "Barracks" Obama for his re-assuring smile, earnest expression and heroic refusal to have his skin whitened, but they were out somewhere nice for a few drinks and amidst the slowly ensuing merriment someone jokingly suggested War as an alternative. Once the laughter died down, the validity and paradoxical ingenuity of the thought started to reveal itself to them, and half an hour later they were unanimous, War it was, and the happy news was siphoned off to the press.

Christina Aguilera, Tony Blair and a specially commissioned waxwork of Robin Williams will accept the award on War's behalf. The waxwork will be on a scale of 1 to 1.1, thus elevating Williams' height to 6'2", which, the Nobel committee say, will be a fitting tribute to both the man and the occasion.

The moment Mr Obama received the news of the announcement was incidentally caught on camera as he was watering his roses at the White House. A momentary look of surprise tinged perhaps with a shimmer of disappointment was however followed in the same breath with a resigned smile, which then segued into a faraway look of deep contemplation, after a few sacred seconds of which what appeared to be the muttering of some inaudible words was followed by nodding of the head, gentle yet rich in conviction. He then with a sense of renewed hope returned to the watering of his roses.

Subsequent airing of this footage led to massive media interest, reflective naturally of the public will, in the unearthing of the President's unheard words, if words they were, and with the kind aid of NASA technology almost infinite magnification of the audio has revealed the words to be "Our Founding Fathers . . . yes . . . yes . . ."

It seems incidentally true by the way the revelation, however it came out, that Mr Obama had actually been informed of the Nobel decision some twenty minutes earlier but this of course only makes his performance all the more remarkable.


* Just to add whether, this is helpful or necessary or not, the Robin Williams reference is fully in the way of relating to the political/social culture, and has absolutely nothing to do with him as a person.