Betrayal, Sherpas

A rare slice of disappointing news from the entertainment industrial complex where upcoming series Corporate Whores Piggyback Up Mount Everest has been shelved for now due to resistance from what the show’s producers believe to be native far-right elements. The show, built around the concept of some of our favourite corporate whores heroically ascending Mount Everest atop the shoulders of local Sherpa guides, was going as planned until the guides began to complain of extreme fatigue and the impossibility of continuing on in this manner up the justifiably famous slopes. To the astonishment of the tv crew, the Sherpas requested the entertainment icons do some of the climbing on their own steam, as it were, but this would of course have defeated the whole concept of the programme. 

Whatever the precise nature of the extremist politics provoking them however, the fascist guides (we’ll agree to call them fascist) simply wouldn’t listen to reason, and in an unparalleled act of betrayal of the most basic laws of entertainment, they dumped the corporate whores in the snow and ruthlessly set off back down the mountain. We needn’t mention the risk to life the unhinged guides caused to the crew, but we are at least able to relate that no lives were lost after the crew were successfully airlifted from the slopes over the following half hour. They may have been traumatised, but at least they were safe.

Barack Obama offered ‘to pull some strings’ so as to sanction a series of drone strikes on the relevant Sherpas’ villages, both as an act of justifiable retaliation but also so as to show the world we will not bow down to the extremists. It is not yet known however whether this has yet been acted upon or not.