Macbeth Reconsidered

In the fine tradition of this blog of re-working, some would say improving, old classics of human thought such as my much renowned Platonic series, here, here and here, I've been spurred into daring mental flight by Shakespeare's dark tale, Macbeth(which the more astute readers may have already realised from the title of this piece). WIthout further ado we leap towards the end of the play where Macbeth is prepared to make his final stand.

Macbeth: I bear a charmed life that must not yield
To one of woman born.
Macduff: Despair thy charm
And let the angel whom thou still hast served
Tell thee Macduff was from his mother's womb
Untimely ripped.
Macbeth: Hold on a minute here, for feck sake. I can see
Where this is going & it's laughable. I decided I'd hold my tongue
About that stupid Birnan Wood coming to Dunsinane rubbish. "Oi lads
Lets hack down a load of branches & disguise our numbers."
Were men of any substance in th' field, they'd have
Told them to piss off.
But anyway, I stayed quiet for the sake of decorum. However,
This woman born stuff even beats that. We'll look up a dictionary
So I can make my point.
The Free Online Dictionary
"Born: Brought into existence; created"
Webster's English Dictionary
"Birth: the emergence of a new individual from the body of its parent."
Just because it's a Caesarean doesn't mean you weren't of a woman born, Macduff, you moron.

And so without further ado, I slay thee.
Macduff: Dead, dead, dead. Aaahhhhh!.

Macbeth slays Macduff & reigns over an era of tyrannical depravity till he dies at the age of 81 of heart disease.