Martin Scorcese has released a documentary film on The Rolling Stones, Shine A Light comprised largely, possibly solely, of contemporary concert footage of the deceased rockers. When asked why make a film on a band who have long ceased to have anything artistically of interest to say, Scorcese responded, "It is their very irrelevance that makes them so relevant."
When asked what this meant, Mr Scorcese said, "Watch the film."
Mr Scorcese refused to confirm or deny claims that he tried to persuade the band to be fronted by acting legend, Leonardo di Caprio, in the role of Mick Jagger.
"Though what if I did," responded an irritated Scorcese. "He's a great actor."
Music legend Christine Aguilera brings a mix of gravitas and glamour to proceedings with her stunning collaboration with the deceased rockers. When asked why the group decided to perform with someone so musically uninteresting, Scorcese responded, "She's very famous."
A laughing Bill Clinton appears at the concert, and adds real cutting edge credibility to proceedings, not that the deceased rockers and Christina Aguileira need any injection of cutting edge credibility.
All the audience thoroughly enjoyed the shows, but for one unfortunately over-sensitive fan who had to be rushed to hospital, where she was diagnosed as having been "choking on the fetid vapours of mutual vanity."