I've begun the Renaissance artist, Benvenuto Cellini's autobiography, as all of us do at one time or another, and was welcomed by the opening line:
"I first began writing this Life of mine in my own hand...but it took up too much of my time and seemed utterly pointless."
Undimmed by the pointlessness of his task, he ploughed ahead with great gusto declaring, "No matter what sort he is, everyone who has to his credit what are really great achievements ought to write the story of his own life."
Only a chapter or so in, but it's enjoyable & unwittingly amusing as a result of the, in today's terms at least, odd enthusiastic character of Cellini. One early incident; his father sees a salamander lizard running around in the fire and : 'Suddenly realizing what it was, he called my sister & myself & showed it to us. And then he gave me such a violent box on the ears that I screamed & burst into tears. At this he calmed me as kindly as he could & said: "My dear little boy, I didn't hit you because you had done wrong. I only did it so you will never forget that this lizard you saw is a salamander, and as far as we know for certain has never been seen before."
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14 comments:
What a load of fucking shit! 'Undimmed at the pointlessness of his task'? Undimmed by the pointless of this fucking shite. Talk some fucking sense or don't fucking talk at all.
And if case you're wondering. I didn't tell you off because you did something wrong. I told you off to remember the first fucking time I visited your blog.
Oh shite, Edwina has found me. A terrible beauty is born. Not that the line has anything to do with Edwina, but the line, "I've created a monster," comes to mind.
Incidentally, Edwina,I apologise profusely & have replaced the inappropriate 'at' with the more apposite 'by.'
Edwina, I beg you to consider your violent usage of the noble English tongue; think of the children. They are the future after all.
Oh shite, I've accidentally removed Edwina's comment when meaning to delete my badly spelled response to said comment; she'll understandably go mental.
To try & rectify the error, Edwina I think said something to the effect of:
"I have your fucking numner, sonny, and don't you fucking forget it."
She's all woman and at least half-man.
Shit, it gets worse- 'numner.' Maybe she won't notice.
Actually with the aid of my email, Edwina's charming comment has been rescued from the abyss & extraordinarily I think I remembered it word for word, and so with some unease as I post under her name under well-intentioned but slightly false pretences I will replace her very words below, confident that she will be charmed by all the effort I've gone to.
Edwina has your fucking number, sonny. And don't you fucking well forget it.
You're pushing your fecking luck, mate, deleting my comment. I'll delete your face if you try to pull that shit again.
And what's the title of this f***ing mess called? At the top of the page it says 'In Absinthia' and in your address it's 'In Abstentia'. You don't know your arsehole from your elbow.
(I'll try my best to moderate my language but I don't really see why I should make a special effort here when I swear all over the place.)
I don't like the sound of having my face deleted so apologies again, you fine woman of noble bearing.
My blogspot title is being changed under the desire for originality but I've just noticed that, unsurprisingly, In Absinthia is already a well-used piece of linguistic trickery, and so maybe I'll change it back to a prior usage.
Watching this exchange from afar, I felt like I should step in and defend you.
Andrew, stop picking on Edwina! She's a fine woman and you mustn't stop the dear woman from posting her earthy comments here.
glad you've started a blog, though unglad in that i have hardly any internet time now, and seem to stumble upon a new good blog every week now. Woe.
Thanks, Elberry. Good to have some more minds to provide sustenance to this humble blog.
Chip, you of all people should know that Edwina is a difficult lady, & needs no help from the well-oiled Welshmen such as yourself in defending her rights. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if your comment were to result in the good woman becoming irate at any such suggestion.
Andrew, I would never dare speak for Edwina. You should choose your words very very carefully.
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