Young

Neil “Not So” Young has announced he is to soon be embarking on a Pfizer for Freedom tour of great pharmaceutical factories of the world with his band Crazy Horseshit. Whilst of course in these times staying isolated is advisable, still fans can be assured that everyone attempting to attend will have to provide evidence of being quadruple jabbed as well as passing an antigen and PCR test before being permitted entrance to the Rock N Roll Church of Freedom - as each venue will be called. Highly qualified medical security will then carefully seal audience members in biodegradable bubble wrap, before carefully showing them to their seating. Fans are asked, in spite of the bubble wrap, not to sing along to the songs for fear of spreading germs. It is also suggested eye contact between audience members is kept to a minimum for fear of spreading paranoia.

Bill Gates and Anthony Fauci will perform as dancing girls in accompaniment to the edgy, defiant music, whilst CNN will provide accurate information about Covid, including up-to-the-minute death counts, on giant screens behind the counter-cultural, anti-establishment rocker and his band.

According to a Pfizer spokesman, “At the heart of Neil Young’s music is a fearless message of ‘Rock n roll until I die,’ but we must take every precaution to ensure that we don’t die. And who knows, if we can just hang in there and medical science continues to advance, perhaps we never will.”