Road to Ruin?

Eminent scientists have revealed that mathematical deduction aided by external observation has revealed that we are on an apparent collision course with future time, which for some as yet unknown reason has decided to go into reverse. The most widely accepted explicating hypothesis- The Temporal Self-Defence Theory- posits that rather than plunge into some irreversible imminent apocalyptic scenario, possibly of an environmental nature, time chose to cease its onward path to apparent death and, unable to simply stay in a static state of non-existence, began its retreat back in the direction from whence it came.

A view being treated as heresy by most within the scientific establishment is that we are looking at the problem from the wrong end, and that it is actually us who are doing the illegitimate reversing, and the imagined future time returning which we are approaching is normal time advancing in its legitimate scientific path.

Another thought is that time isn't as infinite as some had imagined, and that when one reaches a certain end-point one is bounced back in the direction from whence one came. A philosophical sect has arisen from within this camp that rather than meet a kind of elastic end-point, time is in the nature of an escalator which keeps circling infinitely. This will be familiar to many as according with Nietzsche's Eternal Recurrence, which under EU regulations from January 1st, academics will be obliged to term The Escalator Theory. This vision, however, doesn't seem in accord with the nature of the scientific evidence; under this escalator vision time as a whole continues to proceed in the same direction. It is simply that the chronological progression is in the form of a loop.

Noone has been as yet been able to furnish any convincing vision of the scenario that will arise when time collides, though one leading figure has ventured the interesting opinion that "Anything could happen."

It should be mentioned that a lone voice is also claiming that this is "all bollocks," the result of a faulty telescope and bad mathematics, but he has been shunned by his colleagues and described as "gambling with our children's futures" by no less an authority than Nobel winner, Albert Einstein Gore.