Moon, Pope

 The Vatican has announced it is embarking on a mission to land a manned spacecraft on the moon. Pope Francis will himself command the mission, thus if successful becoming most likely the first head of the church to step foot on the lunar surface. 

The purpose of the mission is of course to defeat climate change, while, on a side note, Pope Francis has seemingly also long cherished the dream of being the first pope to plant a Pride flag on the moon. This is most likely his only chance to make this dream a reality. We all have our dreams.

The Vatican is eager that Greta Thunberg be on board both the project and the craft, firstly for the extra media attention her presence should afford, but also for her heavyweight scientific understanding which would no doubt considerably enhance the project’s chances of success.

While the Vatican admit Pope Francis at 87 years of age is getting on a bit, they argue in today’s terms he is still in near peak condition, and is well able physically, mentally and even spiritually to meet the demands of the mission ahead.

“We are running out of time,” declared a Vatican spokesperson, “and the success or failure of this mission could be the tipping point that determines our salvation or our damnation as a species. We have no choice but to try to get the Pope to the moon.”

There is apparently little to no truth for now in the rumors Joe Biden may also be on board. Incidentally, regarding such a scenario, one commentator has suggested it could be unwise or even dangerous for three figures of such stature to be simultaneously absent from the earth’s atmosphere, particularly in these turbulent times. “We simply don’t know what the consequences might be,” he opined.