Omniscient Narrator

You've all heard- and if you haven't, well then you haven't- of the omniscient narrator. Well, it is about time I showed my face, for I am he. I know all, see all, or at least all in the realm of literature. Whether I'm in or out of fashion right now, I don't really know. But what kind of omniscient narrator can I be if I don't really know? I'll tell you.

I am only omniscient by volition, choice if you prefer, and not caring to know whether I am in or out of fashion- for what kind of contemptible stuff is fashion- I choose not to know, or rather I don't choose to know. After all, I am a being of extraordinary grandeur and wisdom, and can you seriously imagine the keeping up to date with the passing whims of the general populace, or even worse, the literary populace, to be commensurate with such a nature? Well maybe you can imagine just that, but that's because such an omniscient narrator is just that and only just that- a creature of your imagining, falsely imagined to be something else entirely.

Well, I announced myself, and perhaps even with some degree of excitement and expectation, but I find myself at a bit of a loss as to where I go from here. But you have so many interesting questions to ask about literature, art, life even. Such an opportunity- discourse with the omniscient narrator!
"Do you feel pity, love, contempt, compassion, shame, etc for the characters you observe with such a cool eye?"
Or why did so and so do such and such to so and so?
But can you really imagine I am interested in such questions? And what interest could I have in discussing questions? What interest do questions have for me?

"Okay, perhaps not those kind of questions, but more general ones, intellectual points of interest..." But here, even more so. Every now and then I make an effort- cast my glance in the direction of some little exalted self-created intellectual stupidity- the idea of free-will or lack of, of atheism or something- but I can assure you I find the experience little better than tedious. The occasional flash of enthusiasm, I admit, but only occasional, and even then only a flash.

I think I shall return into the beyond. I don't think this is doing either of us much good. My inhumanity, or unhumanity rather, will only arouse antagonism.