Triumph Amidst Advertisements
Scientists in Norway have, after much conscientious and rigorous research, awarded the title of Most Demeaning Human Occupation to the Professional Television Watcher, or 'television critic' as is alternatively known. AA "Double A" Gill of The Times accepted the award on behalf of the profession in a ceremony in the Norwegian Embassy in London on Thursday night, saying he was "proud to watch so much television", that "it is a great way of killing time" and "I am even more proud to be paid to write about watching so much television, which is, as said, a great way of killing time." As a philosophical addendum, he added that "Time is the enemy."
Some scientists from Finland, in expression of the notoriously bitter internecine Scandinavian scientific rivalry, have poured scorn on the scientific nature of the Norwegians' research, describing the process as "hopelessly subjective." A Norwegian representative claimed in response that the research was "very scientific" and had "the data to prove it." The Finn accepted defeat, saying this was "fair enough."