Klaus & ze Gang

Klaus SSchwab has announced he has teamed up with war criminal Sir Tony Blair to form a new group along with some other musically minded colleagues, going by the name of ‘Klaus & ze Gang.’ “I was myself a huge fan of Kool & the Gang back in the 1980s,” explained Klaus to the obedient and attendant press. “While obviously we are much more important people than the living or dead members of Kool & the Gang, still it seemed a fun idea to me to call ourselves Klaus & ze Gang, and the other members of the group agreed it was fun after I explained it to them. For the name of our musical band I have exchanged Kool for Klaus, which is similar but not the same. They both begin with the letter K, and have also each only one syllable. So, to make sure you all fully understand, in the music band I am Klaus, while the rest of the members are ze Gang. Tony Blair is in the band, and Tony suggested we might call ourselves Sir Tony and the Globetrotters, but I told him this was not going to happen. It is mostly my band, it is not his band.”

The lineup of the group includes of course Tony Blair on rhythm guitar, while, amongst others, Cher and Rod Stewart have been conscripted to provide both raunchy backing vocals and also raunchy moves.  “They were initially resistant to joining the music band, but then they were persuaded it was in their best interests and so they did join,” explains Klaus.

The group performed their first completed song to an enrapt audience of Al Gore and John Kerry in Davos, Switzerland a few short days ago. It’s called Surrender to My Love, and is on general release from next Monday. Some of its lyrics are displayed below:

Thinking is too much like work

So let us do the thinking for you

We’ve got the brains

That you don’t have

So we’re going to do all the thinking for you

Anyone who buys the single is eligible to receive a signed photograph in the post of Madonna. “She is very beautiful,” said Klaus. “We will have a record of everyone who buys the song and also everyone who does not buy the song, which could prove very useful information going forward into the future.”