In a great defeat for the forces of bigotry, Coca Cola have teamed up with Ben and Jerry’s ice cream company to further the causes of social equality and sugar addiction. Their new products, sensory overdoses of fizzy chemicals and ice cream, will be emblazoned with an array of exciting slogans such as:
Revolution is obedience. Taste the difference.
Marx would mask up. Shut your white mouth.
We’ll do the thinking. You do the pleasuring.
We bring the love. You add the compliance.
Social justice is a dish best served cold and fizzy.
What’s our secret? Science.
You want more? We’ll give you more.
Holier than Mao? We have a dream.
Hypocrisy never tasted so good!
I scream. You scream. We all scream for an end to patriarchal white oppression.
The delicious products will also be available with extremely toxic sugar substitutes for the health minded among us. Health is good! The products haven’t an official title yet as apparently nothing very inspirational has come to mind
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