Further updates from UK prime minister Keir Starmer’s obstacle strewn attempts to launch a music career, where the matter was felt to be of such importance for not just Starmer but the Labour Party as a whole, that an extraordinary general meeting of the party was held today somewhere in the bowels of London to debate the matter. To explain, the issue at hand was not seemingly whether it is correct for a prime minister to attempt to become a pop star, but the appropriateness of the song itself, or rather specifically the song title: Can’t Stop Dreaming of Gulags and Rape Gangs (Not Necessarily in that Order).
After several hours of heated and intense debate, it was decided by a reasonably significant Party majority that the song would be more appropriately titled simply Gulags and Rape Gangs.
“That the prime minister should not be able to stop dreaming of any matter, no matter how exalted, speaks perhaps a little too much of a primacy of personal concerns, rather than a rational devotion to the subjects of the day and their service to the Cause,” explained a Labour Party spokesperson. “We have no need for dreaming. What is needed is cold clear action and remorseless discipline. And so we think it is more desirable in its service as propaganda for the Cause - which is the only justification for any public action - that the song - a thing of rare beauty, I might add - be released with the more down-to-earth title: Gulags and Rape Gangs. And this is now the prime minister’s conviction also.”
The Conservative Party has since applauded the decision.
No comments:
Post a Comment