I had a very short-lived career as a television sports journalist, which working duration solely consisted of one interview of a young athlete who had just won a very prestigious race. The interview went as follows:
"Congratulations. How do you feel now?"
"Oh words can't describe how I feel."
"No no, you're misunderstanding the nature of language. Here that's what words do-describe. You may rightly feel even the finest description to be inadequate to the joy you are now feeling, and your own powers of description may be utterly feeble, but your words would still describe how you feel. Don't worry -they wouldn't be the thing itself. And that the description would in all probability be dull to the point of inanity isn't the point. It would still be a description. Do you understand?"
"Yes, I think so."
"So how do you feel?"
"I feel wonderful."
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4 comments:
There have long been rumours regarding the foundation of a new digital television channel, to be named 'Pedants TV' (no wait, I mean Pedant's TV). You should apply for a job there - along with several hundred other literary bloggers.
I will certainly tune in to your sports roundup.
I was told that I'd been blacklisted from ever appearing on that technological box ever again, so I'm not sure if I should put myself through all the heartache.
I still look forward to the day in which the victorious sportsman or woman replies to the question 'You must be pleased with that win' with something along these lines: 'Hardly. I mean, just look around you. What difference does me running faster than someone else make in the grand scheme of things? It's nothing, nothing at all. You're insulting the world by asking me that trite question, you brainless fathead'.
I keep expecting David Beckham to say it, but he keeps letting me down..
You can tell he means to say it but the words just come out wrong; instead of the words you mention he opens his mouth and to his dismay out comes something like: "The lads gave 110 percent."
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